What Counts as Sin?

"Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes away your relish for spiritual things; in short, if anything increases the authority and power of the flesh over the Spirit, then that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself."

Hmm.. this is a powerful statement by Susanna Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley. In case they are escaping your memory, they are some of the founders of the Great Awakening, next to Jonathan Edwards and George Whitfield.

Classics Education

Today I begin my classics education. First, over the next few years or however long it will take me, I will work my way through the 100 classics of Everyman's Library. In general, I am not well read; ergo, I will read. I'm starting with 1984 by George Orwell for a few reasons. 1) I own it already. 2) It is first on Everyman's list. 3) I was born in 1984. 4) I was going to start with Dante's Divine Comedy but figured it would be too hard and archaic to start with that, so I was looking for a bridge to the past.

Second, I have also begun to tear up my fingertips on a guitar. My dream is to learn classical guitar fingerpicking, so I start by learning chords--A, D, G. These two endeavors will be my next big undertakings of life. Wish me luck.

Full Circle...4 Months Later

Darryl,

What a neat surprise to hear from you. I am doing ok. Ups and downs have been a huge part of my life for the past months. With life being in a state of waiting (jobs, choices, etc.), the Lord has been teaching me how to live with purpose amidst unemployment. I was listening to a lecture the other night while hiking a mountain in the snow, and once I got to the top and overlooked my city of Lenoir, NC, it hit me that my picture frame of contentment needs to be this city. Now, I know the Lord has other place and events in store down the road, but for right now, I must be content with this redneck corner of the woods. It has been very difficult to come back to this small city and wait on the next step.

Good news, however, has just reached my ears as of yesterday. First, I got a job as a tutor at an elementary school. I've been desiring a job in education for quite some time now. Also, I should be paid according to my bachelor's, which is another plus even though it is only part time for now. Not to mention, the county in which I live has one of the highest unemployment rates of the entire state. Therefore, this is good news and should go well with driving school buses at some point soon.

Second, I still cannot shake this desire to serve the country in some way. Thus, I am very close to signing as a medic with the Army National Guard and possibly pursuing OCS down the road. This decision is not coming lightly, however, since I know what I'll be getting into:) Either way, it is simply a huge matter before the Lord. Since this tutoring job is only till May, I am debating between doing basic over the summer or doing Summit Ministries again. Any advice?

To be honest with you, I didn't expect to hear from you again. After our last talk and my decision the next day, I was not sure what would happen, if anything, between us from that point forward. I heartily needed your advice and still found the right decision to be to DOR. Either way, I was planning on contacting you at some point down the road...honestly:) I even have a friend from Bryan College, who has completed USMC OCS and will be commissioned at his college graduation in May, who would be a great fit for what you might be looking for down the road. He studied the same thing as I, and I think plans to be pilot--that or Intel, not sure. I've talked with him a bit since dropping, mentioning your name and what you do, and he seems very interested. I told him I would talk to you at some point about it.

So apart from being jobless and deeply seeking the Lord's vision over the last four months, things have been relatively productive. I've worked my way through the Truth Project (gaining a vision for ministry in this area), read many books, started doing things I've been aspiring to do for many years, kindled a new respect for the Marines and military life, been cussed out by my recruiting officers, bought a used Tahoe (I only had a motorcycle before because my sister totaled my Jetta), learned to live on very little money, gotten a tentative job editing a book, filled out too many job applications, ran, biked and hiked many miles, and been given a chance to refine important ambitions in my life before God. I still lie in anticipation as to how I will get out of debt, attend to this military ambition, and get to grad school down the road. Strangely enough, I am confident all of it will be taken care of beyond my expectations. He has given me all that my heart has desired up to this point, which is so surprising but shouldn't be; I am grateful and honored.

Thank you for checking in and praying for me.

Jason